Wait Watchers! Book 6 of The Liberty Heights series will be out soon. I’ve finished the galley proofs. Yay! Lots of fun with this book.
Here’s a peek. Excerpt Wait Watchers: Copyright Elle Druskin 2014
Unable to contain her curiosity, Portia squinted out the window. She pressed her nose against the glass. Wayne leaned against her thigh. Obviously, Wayne was a lot smarter, or possibly, more fearful than LouAnn. The beagle clearly had no intention of sprinting out the back door with that old man still armed out there.
The front door banged open. Bud and Truman marched into the kitchen and glanced at the Valentines, all armed to the teeth. BettyAnn flounced past them. LouAnn’s boyfriend Howie shouted from the second floor.
“Me and Simon have a clear shot from the upstairs bathroom.”
BettyAnn yelled back. “Don’t shoot. It’s Uncle Rupert.”
“Rupert Freedbush? Oh brother,” Truman mumbled. He stooped next to the kitchen table and poked his head underneath.
“It’s safe for you to come out now. Whatever you do, don’t tell Rupert you’re a literary agent, or he’ll yak your head off.”
Portia stared at him. Truman must be going nuts too. It must be something to do with the water. Or the air. Or some weird electrical charge that only affected people in Liberty Heights.
He slipped an arm around her waist and helped her scramble to her feet.
“Boy, we’re in for it now,” Bud muttered.
Portia glanced from Truman to Bud. Serious expressions morphed into amusement.
“What’s going on?” Portia asked. Her temper was at all-time high. Scared half to death and nobody seemed the slightest bit concerned. The Valentines lowered their weapons. Portia wasn’t sure which was scarier; a pack of Valentines armed like a SWAT team or the old guy out in the yard.
Footsteps scraped on the back door steps. Alice steamed into the kitchen clutching the confiscated rifle. LouAnn followed with one hand hooked around the old guy’s elbow. She steered him into the kitchen.
“This is such a nice surprise. We’re so excited to have you here,” LouAnn said.
The man harrumphed. “Of course you are. Everyone is celebrity mad.” He shook off LouAnn’s hand, pivoted and glared at Alice.
“I demand my rifle back,” he shouted.
“Nothing doing,” Alice snapped.
“Alice is right,” LouAnn said. “No safari. It’s winter. All the animals are hibernating.”
“Alice?” The old man’s eyes narrowed on the police chief. “No wonder I didn’t recognize you, Miss Toklas. You’ve put on weight. Gertrude’s cooking must agree with you.”
“Thanks a bunch,” Alice muttered.
The old man eyed the crowd. Portia estimated the man was in his sixties although she couldn’t be sure. Stocky and slightly bowlegged, he was dressed in khaki pants, a safari jacket, and a topee. Confusion marred his round face, and his stubby fingers stroked his salt and pepper moustache and beard. A glimmer of a smile lit his features. He folded his arms over his chest and bowed to Portia in a rather courtly gesture. The smile widened to a grin.
“Lovely to see you again, my dear. As fetching as always.”
He leaned over and kissed her cheek. Portia’s eyes widened as he turned to Truman.
“Still married to the most exquisite woman in Paris. Some men have all the luck. You two should have come to Pamplona with us.”
“How was the running of the bulls?” Bud asked.
“Exciting as always. Spain is so inspiring Pablo. You should go home more often.”
Pablo? Portia shot a furtive glance at all the others. The Valentines all wore confused expressions. Alice’s face dripped of resignation. Bud and Truman seemed to be enjoying themselves.
“You remember Ernest,” Truman said and squeezed Portia’s hand. Tom tom pain thudded in Portia’s temples. She was getting the mother of all headaches. Plus, she didn’t have the faintest idea what the heck was going on. The old man snorted.
“Of course Zelda remembers me. No need to get a swelled head, Scott.”
“Zelda?”
Portia’s legs, still shaky from the sprain, gave way. She lowered herself into the kitchen chair.
“Surely you remember Hemingway. He’s so fond of you Zelda. Maybe a little too fond,” Truman said. He shot a dark glance at the old man.
Portia thunked her head on the table. For Pete’s sake. Every time she thought things couldn’t possibly get worse, somehow, they magically deteriorated to an entire new level.
If she wasn’t mistaken, the old guy thought he was Ernest Hemingway.
This wasn’t possible. It was insane. Maybe she should sign herself away for treatment. Was she the only person who thought this was crazy?
Galley proofs done! Wait Watchers
NEW REVIEW FOR LIGHT MY FIRE!
NEW REVIEW FROM A READER ON AMAZON UK FOR LIGHT MY FIRE (BOOK 4 THE LIBERTY HEIGHTS SERIES!)
Just saw this review. Liberty Heights thanks you!
Another fun read about the residents of Liberty Heights, this time focusing on two of the minor characters from the previous books.
It seems everyone knows that Kara and Woody should be together except themselves.
Once again Elle Druskin manages to weave a funny intricate plot fun of fun to get Kara and Woody to realize they are meant to be together. As with her previous books the course of true love never does run smooth. With a mayoral election and a parade to help organize, Woddy also has his day and night jobs at the fire station and paramedic to contest with. Will he ever find time to romance Kara. Once Kara has a makeover the story gets funnier with misunderstandings by both our main characters.
Thanks again to Elle Druskin for another episode in the wacky world of Liberty Heights
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Light-My-Fire-Liberty-Heights-ebook/dp/B00DDX8W5G/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1398274216&sr=8-4&keywords=elle+druskin
BLOG HOP! INSIDE THE WRITER’S HEAD!
Thanks so much to Christopher Mannino for inviting me to join this marvelous blog hop! Chris’ blog scan be found at poetsfire.blogspot.com. You can also check in with Chris on his author site:
ChristopherMannino.com
What am I working on?
I’m currently starting the next book in the Liberty Heights series. (Book 7, if you don’t count the short stories). I don’t have a working title yet but it will come to me as I get more thoroughly immersed in the work. I’m also not sure of the entire story. It often comes to me as I’m writing. (More about that below).
I do know that the chief characters are a wounded Marine vet and Liberty Heights woman who has returned home due to a dismal failure. For the second time. Sorry, not revealing what sort of failure but it isn’t necessarily romantic like being ditched by a fiancé or anything like that. It struck me as interesting to work with a man as the primary hero who’s more of anti-hero and perhaps not especially likeable initially. He’s been wounded and he’s bitter and angry. I thought it would be interesting to pair him with a woman who’s been emotionally wounded. Each one feels like a loser but together, they could be a winning team. I like that idea. Of course, it involves catalysts to enable both of them to acknowledge mistakes, have the courage to take risks and be willing to make life changes.
One other thing, as crazy as it sounds I know there’s something about cheesecake in this book. Cheesecake as in pastry, not sexy pinups in case you were wondering. I’m not sure what but I’ve got a few ideas that are starting crystallize. I know I’m going to have fun with that. Stay tuned for developments!
How does my work differ from others of its genre?
Good question. I’ve written a number of books that are cross genre. For example, my first book, To Catch A Cop, was never meant to be published. I was writing it to figure out HOW to write a novel. I’m a professor by profession and have done a reasonable amount of academic writing. That’s part of the job but I was interested in learning how to write a work of fiction. Yes, I know you can take all sorts of workshops and writing classes and I have no doubt they are helpful. Since I wasn’t planning to do anything with whatever developed, I skipped that—probably wouldn’t have had time to fit it in anyway. Just sat down and wrote. Put the thing aside for a few years, joined a critique group, kept writing and learning and revised the book. Put it aside again, did more revision and then asked three people to read it. They were all people who were writers with backgrounds in romance, journalism and thrillers. I knew they would be honest and constructive. And remember, this wasn’t going to be published anyway, right?
The first reader thought it was a rather unconventional romance but a fun story. She was a romance writer. The second thought it was a “cute mystery.” I never saw the mystery myself. That was interesting—two different readers who viewed the book differently. Reader number two also noticed a few dangling participles. Would I like her to correct them? Certainly. The third was a very successful writer of thrillers. He thought the book was a combination of romance with a touch of thriller. He also mentioned excellent, snappy dialogue and well-paced. That sounded good. I honestly didn’t know what I had written at that point. What mattered was that all three thought it was a fun book, plenty of humor, and highly engaging characters and story. Imagine my surprise when it was published and nominated as Best Romantic Comedy of 2010?
Right now, I’m concentrating on my Liberty Heights series. I think it’s safe to say these books are romance, romantic humor, small town contemporary stories.
I originally was writing the first book, Animal Crackers, as a stand alone book set in Liberty Heights, New Jersey. It was tremendous fun bringing together Hayley Weaver, an unemployed, stressed out New York workaholic and small town, laid back local veterinarian, Jake Marx. Opposites attract sort of story. As much as Hayley and Jake were the primary characters, in a way, the town also became a character. Liberty Heights is loaded with eccentrics—human and animal. As Jake says, in a big city, nobody knows you but in a small town, everyone knows you and everything about you. They accept you as you are. BTW there are always some quirky animals in the books. Everyone entertained me so much, I didn’t want to leave town! As I was finishing the book, another story set in the town started working its way through my brain and I realized Liberty Heights has a lot of stories to tell. Six books and two short stories later, I’m not finished with Liberty Heights.
Part of the fun of writing a series is being able to incorporate some of the primary characters, like Hayley and Jake, in subsequent books in secondary roles. It’s interesting to watch characters grow and develop in conjunction with a totally new story featuring other people in town. I also get a huge kick out of some of the senior citizens. Grandma Baumgart is a firecracker! In Book 3, Hanky-Panky, Grandma takes a joyride on a skateboard (what the heck was she thinking?) No serious injuries, just a concussion and the unshakeable conviction that grandson Hank is married to Dana, Hayley’s best friend. Yikes! They don’t even like each other but nobody wants to upset Grandma. Pretty soon the entire town is sure Hank and Dana are married, Grandma is planning a reception for everyone who missed the wedding and has her heart set on a new dress. Oh boy. Hank and Dana are stuck. Any chance they might end up stuck on each other?
Liberty Heights books deal with some serious issues. Widowhood. Attempted murder. But, and here’s the but, there’s always some underlining humor. Who wouldn’t have fun with characters like Paulette Stone aka Paula Stawicki, a B-grade movie actress. B-grade is polite. Paulette makes horror films like Driving with Zombies. In between these awful movies, she collects exotic pets. There’s Antoine, a French swearing parrot, Henry, a deaf dog from China who spends his days at the local Chinese restaurant and Pansy the chimp who’s trying to get accepted on the local Little League team. In Pranksgiving, a short story written for Thanskgiving, Paulette kidnaps Jerome the turkey to save him from being served as the main course. Mayhem unfolds with New Jersey police out hunting the stolen bird and chasing down ransom demands from assorted nutcases.
I get a huge kick out of LouAnn Freedbush who was first introduced in Book 4, Light My Fire. Readers also adore LouAnn. Everyone in town knows LouAnn was always a little flaky. Compared to her relatives, she seems almost normal. Almost. LouAnn owns a beagle named Wayne who’s psychic. At least, that’s what LouAnn says. Her sister BettyAnn has been studying to be a witch-none of her spells work. LouAnn’s boyfriend Howie is a magician who’s accident prone. Then there’s Uncle Rufus (to be introduced in Wait Watchers-publication date 2014) who suffers from the delusion that he’s Ernest Hemingway.) Now I ask you—wouldn’t you have fun with characters like that to work with?
I can only tell you what readers have written to me—
“Can you send me driving directions to Liberty Heights? I can’t find it on a map. I’m going to be in Pennsylvania and thought I’d drive over.”—Hmm. Sorry to disappoint but Liberty Heights only exists in my head. To me, it is a real place but you won’t find it on a map. All the surrounding towns mentioned in the books are real places. I took it as a compliment that the reader truly believed this town exists.
“Animal Crackers was a little bit Bridesmaids with an Evanovich twist.”—Note—I’ve never seen Bridesmaids but I’m a fan of Janet Evanovich so I sort of got what she meant.
“Elle Druskin once again brightens up any reader’s day by taking them to the fabulous setting of Liberty Heights…I’ve said it before but I just have to say it again, I love Liberty Heights and its eccentric residents. You just never know what’s going to happen and I’m always pleasantly surprised and mightily pleased with any events that do take place. If you are looking for a fabulous feel-good read, than this is the perfect choice. I always hate to come to the end of one of these stories, but I cannot wait to see what happens next to the friends and neighbors in one of my favorite small-town settings.”
With reactions like this, I think it’s pretty safe to say the entire series is light, easy to read, fun, and grows on you. People return to the books because they want to know what’s going on in Liberty Heights now? Is there anything more that could possibly happen? You bet!
Why do I write what I do?
I suppose it’s part of my personality. I’ve written enough heavy, academic work to want to do something different. Something that entertains me and brings a smile to my face. Liberty Heights does that. I’ve tried to write serious stories but even those have touches of humor creeping in.
I come from a family where we all laugh a lot. Many of my relatives are really funny storytellers. It’s a natural talent. Someone else could tell the same story and it wouldn’t be funny, so it’s a personal quirk, view of life or attitude. I tend to laugh harder at myself than anyone else. One of my friends once remarked to me, “My daughter goes looking for trouble. You naturally find it. What a pair!”
It’s true. I’ve been fortunate enough to do a great deal of travelling and see so much of the world. Along the way, I fell into a canal in Venice which I thought was hilarious, got accidentally engaged in India at a Bollywood wedding—I still don’t know how that happened–and started a riot in Poland. Not my fault, really.
How does my writing process work?
Another good question. I know there are many approaches to writing and if the end result is a great story, that’s all that matters. I was a bit amused by some woman at a dinner party who was taking her first writing course and couldn’t wait to tell me all about it. “Do tell,” I said. I was genuinely curious. She insisted there is only one way to write a novel. “Really?” I said. “What method is that?” She had no idea I was a writer and yakked for ages about “the process.”
Hmm. I’ve never been good at sticking to rules. With the best of intentions I veer off. Maybe it’s something to do with being left-handed and getting countless things backwards. Who knows? Sure, if writing a detailed synopsis and extensive character sheets works for you, go ahead and use them. If you’re a “pantser”—that is, you start writing the book and see where it goes, also fine. I tend to have a general idea about the book I’m writing. I see scenes unfolding although not necessarily in sequence. That’s okay. I write as they come to me and usually as I’m writing, another scene will start to emerge. Eventually the scenes will come together to form a coherent story. It might require some additional work to connect those scenes but that’s not a problem. I generally know the ending of the book so I’m writing toward that goal and tweak the scenes to fit with the eventual close of the story. That’s about it and it works for me.
I think it’s also important to understand that I think of myself primarily as a storyteller. At the heart of every book is an original story and it has to be great. Sure, themes and situations recur in lots of books. The runaway bride, the jilted fiancé, the guy who’s been framed for a crime he didn’t commit. What matters is putting a new twist on those themes by creating characters that are interesting, engage the reader, and unfold to reveal hidden depths. Conflict is the basis of any novel in any genre so it had better be there and the sooner the better. It sets up tension. The back story can and should unfold over time but the conflict has to be front and center and then just keep twisting that tension line. Dialogue has to be realistic, character actions need to be understandable. They can make mistakes as long we understand them in context. Perfect people would be boring anyway.
If I’m not sure about a scene, I will read it aloud. Believe me, it sounds truly different to reading silently. What seems to read well might sound terrible. It’s one handy way of assessing a scene because if it doesn’t sound right—well, it isn’t. Back to work.
I think I’ve had a lot to say and thank you for your time. You can keep up with Liberty Heights and find my books at:
Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=elle+druskin
At Barnes and Noble for Nook:
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/elle-druskin?keyword=elle+druskin&store=nookstore
You can find me on the web in lots of places:
My website and blog with book excerpts, reviews, news, free bookmarks and recipes.
www.elledruskin.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ElleDruskin
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Elle-Druskin/126850454018019
I also hang out at Books and Writers Community, a great place for writers and readers. It’s free, it’s fun and everything you can possibly imagine is discussed. You’ll see some famous names there including Diana Gabaldon and Joanna Bourne.
http://community.compuserve.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?nav=start&webtag=ws-books
The next writers on this blog hop are: Drum roll!!!!!
Marilynn Tebbitt who writes women’s fiction.
marilynntebbit.wordpress.com
Bio: My first novel, Pool Party, will be released Jan 31. To publish my writing has been my life dream. I also paint, and have work in galleries, but I don’t earn a living off this. For income, I currently tutor, after spending most of my life in the food and beverage service industry. For a companion, I keep a now 24 year old Blue & Gold (pirate parrot) I’ve had since he was 3 months old. I’ve never been married, no kids – a red flag for a man; what, for a woman? For activity: I weight train, and have for 32 years. I’ve competed in body building. I rode sport motorcycles for 12 years, swam varsity, played competitive table tennis, and now happily row on Coal Harbour. And, of course, write.
Jane Beckenham who writes romance novels.
www.janebeckenham.com
Bio: Multi-published author Jane Beckenham discovered dreams and hope, stories that inspired in her a love of romance and happy ever after. Years later, after a blind date, Jane found her own true love and married him eleven months later.
Life has been a series of ‘dreams’ for Jane. Dreaming of learning to walk again after spending years in hospital. Dreaming of raising a family and subsequently flying to Russia to bring home her two adopted daughters. And of course, dreaming of writing.
Writing has become Jane’s addiction – and it sure beats housework.
PRANKSGIVING–OR, IT’S NOT TOO LATE TO CELEBRATE THANKSGIVING LIBERTY HEIGHTS STYLE!
Had a terrifically fun time writing this Liberty Heights story especially for Thanksgiving. Where else would someone kidnap a turkey? Now the state of New Jersey has cops out hunting Jerome the turkey, star of commercials. Holiday fun and mayhem in Pranksgiving. Night Owl review below
Night Owl Reviews Pranksgiving, A Liberty Heights Thanksgiving:
Elle Druskin dishes up mayhem and mirth as the main dish for Thanksgiving with a side of frivolity with her silly short story. I love visiting Liberty Heights as I seriously cannot guess what these eccentric people will get up to next. Birdnapping, really? The story blurb gives nothing away and I do not want to spoil the feast for anyone by expanding on it but just be assured you will catch up with many of your favourite inhabitants of this incredible town and find out what they have been getting up to since their previous adventures. Some memorable citizens appear in this installment including the psychic dog and his lovable owner and of course the attractive vet and his clever wife. If you are looking for a quirky little break from the mundane, the ordinary, the everyday, this is definitely the read for you, however I would advise you become acquainted with the residents first so that you can follow the ins and outs and the ups and downs.
Feathers are ruffled in Liberty Heights this Thanksgiving when residents think they are seeing a Turkey on the loose. Is it the power of suggestion, after all the newspaper headline is touting the fact that the star of the Ledbetter Turkey commercials has been kidnapped, or is it just the stress of preparing for the holiday weekend?
http://www.nightowlreviews.com/v5/Reviews/Paulinemichael-reviews-Pranksgiving-by-Elle-Druskin
Pranksgiving now on sale: http://www.amazon.com/Pranksgiving-Liberty-Heights-Elle-Druskin-ebook/dp/B00GOH80IC?SubscriptionId=0AVWMJKW0VXGA7SW24R2&tag=norbr-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=2025&creative=165953&creativeASIN=B00GOH80IC
Adams and Eve a Liberty Heights Halloween!
#Night Owl #Reviews #Adams and Eve!
“Elle Druskin does Halloween with Liberty Height’s flair in this short, sweet and slightly spooky story. A return visit just in time for the holiday is a fabulously fun trick and a wonderful treat for fans of this quirky town and its off-beat inhabitants. Catching up with many of the residents and seeing just how life has been treating those who have settled down and scoping out those attachments yet to be made is a pleasant way to pass the time. I also enjoyed chuckling out-loud at LouAnn’s naiveté and her conversations with Wayne the psychic dog. The overall amusement made this a real feel-good story and the ending left me anticipating the next exploits. If you aren’t a fan this fun short will introduce you to the crowd and it won’t be long before you’ll be making regular visits to one of my favorite destinations. It might be easier to follow along if you have read a previous adventure but it is still a cute holiday romp that will make readers smile.
Leave it to Liberty Height’s most idiosyncratic resident to throw a Halloween party and request that everyone dress as their favorite Adams. So while the inhabitants are preoccupied with who they will come as an uninvited guests stalks the unwitting hostess. Will the party be a success or will someone end up in the graveyard next door?”
http://www.nightowlreviews.com/v5/Reviews/Paulinemichael-reviews-Adams-And-Eve-by-Elle
Druskin
http://www.amazon.com/Adams-Eve-Liberty-Halloween-ebook/dp/B00FRIICHS?SubscriptionId=0AVWMJKW0VXGA7SW24R2&tag=norbr-20&linkCode=xm2&camp=2025&creative=165953&creativeASIN=B00FRIICHS
Coming Soon–Adams and Eve, A Liberty Heights Halloween Short Story
Halloween can be murder! Liberty Heights is in a tizz over LouAnn’s costume party. Nobody can figure out why she says to come dressed as an Adams. Cool parties always have gatecrashers–which Adams has murder on his mind?
Excerpt: Adams and Eve, A Liberty Heights Halloween Short story coming in time for Halloween
She studied the man’s appearance although it was a long way up. Pale, practically an albino, with silver eyes, white blond cropped hair, and a weird lightening shaped scar on his forehead. Maybe he was a fan of Harry Potter. Wasn’t everyone?
Like BettyAnn, his clothes were black. Cargo pants and a black T-shirt that didn’t disguise rock hard pectoral muscles. Something about this man was familiar, but LouAnn couldn’t place him. Before she had time to consider where they might have met, Howie bounced into the kitchen. The suit jacket fit a bit too snug around his middle, strained buttons looked as if they might pop any second. Slicked back hair did nothing to disguise the bald patch, but LouAnn thought he made a terrific Gomez, especially with the long-stemmed rose clamped between his teeth which he dropped the second he caught sight of BettyAnn’s new squeeze. He stopped short and gazed at the stranger’s features. Admiration gleamed on his face.
“Wow! Great costume! Terrific Frankenstein,” Howie said.
The man frowned.
“His name isn’t Frank,” BettyAnn snapped. She didn’t bother to hide her annoyance. “It’s Simon. Simon P. Stein.”
“Yeah. No idea why everyone thinks my name is Frank. Happens all the time. Go figure,” Simon said.
“Simon’s a vampire,” BettyAnn explained.
Wayne growled. Howie shot a worried glance at LouAnn who could read his thoughts. A vampire. Leave it to BettyAnn to try to one-up her in the boyfriend sweepstakes. Howie was a magician, or more correctly, trying to become a magician. So far, none of his tricks worked. Maybe with BettyAnn visiting, she could give him some professional tips. Her sister was so darned high strung and temperamental, it was hard to know if she’d condescend to coach Howie. That was the problem with geniuses; they were all such difficult personality types who strained everyone’s patience. Diplomacy and tact usually were the best methods in LouAnn’s experience. At least, when it came to BettyAnn. She hoped Simon was a bit more easy-going than her sister. It was hard enough to tiptoe around BettyAnn, let alone a vampire.
“Nice of you to come to my party,” LouAnn said. “Sorry, but I don’t have anything with blood on the menu although the Sangria punch is red wine to make it look like blood.”
There was no disguising the relief on Simon’s face. “That’s good. I hate blood. Mostly, I eat ketchup. I’m working my way up to rare meat. To tell the truth, I prefer it well done.”
Ladybug Lin Reviews Animal Crackers
Elle Druskin’s story made me laugh so hard my sides ached, and split a time or two, and my head grow a bit lightheaded. I also ended up with this goofy smile affixed to my lips that had onlookers wonder about the state of my IQ.
Liberty Heights direct link
Here’s the link for the entire Liberty Heights series with discount:
http://museituppublishing.com/bookstore2/index.php?option=com_virtuemart&page=shop.browse&category_id=323&Itemid=1&vmcchk=1
Light My Fire!
Light My Fire is coming! Book 4 in the Liberty Heights series. Here’s a peek
Copyright: Elle Druskin
Woody held the chairs at their own table for Kara and Phoebe to be seated. He couldn’t suppress his regret that this wasn’t a date. It felt like one, except for Phoebe. Tiny Wong slid a tray of appetizing snacks on the table, and all three pounced on them, savoring the perfect blend of spicy and sweet flavors. They were in the middle of placing their main course orders when Alice Finster marched in.
“Woodrow Wilson, how dare you!”
Alice’s bellow put an abrupt end to all conversation. Woody winced as the chief of police marched up to his table and glared at him. Just what he needed, Alice in a snit.
He searched his mind for any possible infraction that could have ignited her fuse. No police budget cuts nor outstanding crime. On the contrary, he’d approved a new part-time cop for the town. He shot a sideways glance at Kara and caught a sympathetic look on her face. Phoebe, thank goodness, was stuffing spring rolls into her cute little mouth and didn’t have the slightest interest in whatever had set off Hurricane Alice.
Woody took his time chewing his fried won-ton, hoping Alice might magically disappear along with this embarrassing situation. Fat chance. Everyone was staring at the confrontation.
“Got a problem, Alice?”
Alice sniffed. “Don’t try stalling. How dare you allow a sex store right on Main Street?”
“Sex store? I miss all the fun,” Grandma Baumgart grumbled.
“Sex store? Hot damn,” Gertie said. “Do you think they do coupons?”
Judge Finster shot a disgusted look at his aunt. “Can’t hear a thing, but that you heard loud and clear.”
Woody glanced around and noted Jake and Hayley Marx’s shocked expressions. Dana Axelrod’s jaw dropped, and Hank was doing his best and failing to hold back a snicker. Woody forced himself to meet Alice’s eyes. Her husband, the judge, he noted, had the sense to remain at the table and out of the range of fire.
“A sex store? In Liberty Heights? I wonder if they need a party planner for the grand opening,” Ellie Resnick commented.
Her husband Zach’s lips quirked. “Not getting enough?”
“Sex or parties?” Ellie answered with a grin and jiggled the baby carriage next to their table.
“Why didn’t they hire me for promotion,” Hayley complained.
Jake shot her an exasperated look. “Three kids, a full time job, and you’re looking for more work. What the heck do you need with a sex store?”
Alice tapped her foot. Woody rose from his seat. Nearly a foot taller than the stocky police chief. Not that his height intimidated the woman. Nothing cowed Alice Finster.
“I don’t know anything about a sex store,” he said. Slow. Calm. Defuse Alice’s anger.
Alice shoved a flyer in his face. “What’s this supposed to mean?”
Woody scanned the bright red script. Coming soon! Ignite your burning desire.
He raked his fingers through his hair and read again. “This doesn’t say anything about a sex store.”
Alice snatched the flyer back, crumpled the paper and stomped on it. “It sounds like a bordello. Right on Main Street,” Alice snapped.
“What’s a bordello?” Phoebe asked.
Woody shot a glance at Kara. Help me out here, he mouthed. He hoped she had some sort of explanation for her daughter because he sure didn’t have one.
“An Italian buffet,” Kara answered.
“Do they have pizza? Can we go there when it opens?”
A visible shiver ran up Kara’s spine. “It’s for adults only,” she said.
Phoebe wasn’t giving up. “That’s not fair. I like pizza.”
A bordello would be serving up a lot more than pizza, but Phoebe was too young to require detailed explanations.
Alice wasn’t deterred from the topic either. “My daughter walks past that spot every day. All our kids do. It’s your civic duty to investigate. Burning desire, my foot. It’s a massage parlor. Who bought the place? What paperwork did they file? Did they violate the fire codes? Why didn’t you prevent this?”
By now, everyone at the Wok and Woll leaned closer, anxious for the answer. Not a single person pretended disinterest other than Phoebe.
“Somebody named Ripple bought out that hole in the wall video rental place. I think the first name was Wayne. Nobody rents videos much anymore. Too easy to get them direct online. The paperwork didn’t specify the business, but be realistic, Alice. Nothing said sex store or anything vaguely related, and frankly, I can’t believe anyone would try to open that sort of business in Liberty Heights.”
“Hmmph. We’ll see. I can see you’ve been derelict in your duty as mayor, and there’s an election coming.” Without another word, Alice marched out the door.
“If the correct permits were issued, and there’s no breach of fire codes, there may not be anything Alice can do as an officer of the law,” Judge Finster said. “You should have investigated the business before signing the permits. Who is this Wayne Ripple? Where does he come from? Does he have a criminal background? If Alice is right about this sex business, you’ll have to find a way to get rid of them.”
Woody shot a glance around the restaurant. Tiny Wong’s face bleached of color. Doris looked like she was about to faint. Nearly everyone had a distinct look of disapproval other than Grandma Baumgart.
“Hot damn! I hope they give seniors’ discounts. Can’t wait for the grand opening,” she said.
New LIberty Heights books!
I’m happy to announce that there will be another Liberty Heights book! Book 4, Light My Fire has just been contracted with a publication date for early next summer. Book 3, Hanky Panky, will be out next month. I might not know much, but personally, I think Hanky Panky is the funniest book in the series. Briefly, Grandma Baumgart’s joyride on a skateboard (what was she thinking?) results in a concussion and firm conviction that grandson Hank and Dana Fremder are married. Nobody wants to upset Grandma, so what are Hank and Dana going to do? Yep, it’s Grandma as Matchmaker along with Algernon the meerkat. Liberty Heights fun and romance again!
